end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We need to rekindle our bromance
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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