you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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