I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
