I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
