think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
