There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
