I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
