We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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