that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize