have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
