I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
