lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize