ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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