Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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