is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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