And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Less talking, more tequila
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
