Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
