It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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