you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
