I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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