Im at strip club and am horny
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
