I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
