Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
