im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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