I love black thongs
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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