i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize