I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
