be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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