she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
