they said they heard you say put it in my butt
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
