Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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