I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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