i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
