If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
