You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
