OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
