just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
