I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
