she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
