mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She bit a glass in half.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
