I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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