you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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