i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
