Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
