David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
