Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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