Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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