He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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