Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
