So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
tell me about the fingering
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