so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
