Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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