Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
