oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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