If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
