Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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