She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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