On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
