Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What a dumb baby whore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
