Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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