She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
