The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
