with your own penis?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
